Gary Coleman Brings Marital Woes to ‘Divorce Court’

 LOS ANGELES —  The honeymoon is over for Gary Coleman and his new bride.

The 40-year-old actor and his 22-year-old wife, Shannon Price, are set to appear on TV’s “Divorce Court” on May 1 and 2. The couple wed in August after meeting on the set of the 2006 comedy “Church Ball.”

Among the problems the pair discusses with Judge Lynn Toler are Coleman’s anger and intimacy issues. Coleman and Price agree they have “ugly” monthly fights.

“If he doesn’t get his way, he throws a temper tantrum like a five-year-old does,” Price says, according to a transcript of the show obtained by The Associated Press. “He like stomps the floor and yells, ‘Meehhhh,’ and starts throwing stuff around. He bashes his head in the wall, too.”

Coleman says he gets frustrated because “the male is always the bad guy.”

“When I try to state my case or explain things to her or try to get her to understand my point of view,” Coleman says, “my point of view doesn’t matter.”

Price also complains that Coleman has no friends and inexplicably disappears from home in the middle of the night. When Toler presses him, Coleman admits he is negative.

“I don’t have any friends and don’t have any intention of making any,” he says. “People will stab you in the back, mistreat you, talk about me behind your back, steal from you. And they’re not really your friends. [They're] only there because you’re a celebrity or because they want to get something from you.”

Coleman went on to describe the couple’s private life as “mediocre.”

“It’s not her fault,” he says. “I always feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders every day I get up. … There are days I don’t even want to get up.”

 

Stupid Joke: Who is Jack Schitt?

The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says “You don’t know Jack Schitt.” Now you can intellectually handle the situation.

Jack is the son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents’ objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out.

However, after being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name.

She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son of nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt. Two other of the 6 children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, Were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

So now when someone says, “you don’t know Jack Schitt,” you can correct them.

Scratching cat in lap blamed for causing accident

MODESTO, Calif. – Modesto police are blaming a scratching cat for an accident that toppled a power pole and shut down a street for nearly an hour. A police sergeant said Friday that a woman was driving with a cat in her lap. The animal scratched her, and she drove into the pole.

The woman suffered minor injuries and was taken to a hospital. The cat was taken to a vet to treat an injured eye.

On Wednesday, the Assembly Appropriations Committee approved a bill by Assemblyman Bill Maze that would make it illegal to drive with a pet in your arms or in your lap.

A very stupid robber

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdu51o6kor0]

No that’s a stupid robber.

Boy Sticks Knife In Head

Oh, that’s got to hurt!

Malaysian cop allegedly breaks into car, falls asleep

You think America’s law system is bad, look at Malaysia’s

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia – A Malaysian cop was arrested after he allegedly broke into a Mercedes Benz to steal its stereo but then dozed off on its luxurious seat, a news report said Friday.

The police officer allegedly was high on drugs and fell asleep while trying to steal a compact disc player from the car while it was parked at a hotel in southern Malacca state on Monday, the New Straits Times reported.

The officer, who was not identified, is allegedly a member of a gang linked to other break-ins and motorcycle thefts, the report said. After his arrest he led police to three other alleged members of the gang who are also linked to the police force, it said.

All four were being detained at a police station, it said.

Police could not immediately be reached to confirm the report

Learn Chinese

How to learn Chinese in 5 Min (must read out loud)

Porn Star sues for child support

NEW YORK (Reuters) – Italian porn star Ilona Staller, known as “La Cicciolina,” sued her ex-husband Jeff Koons on Wednesday, saying he failed to pay about $1.5 million euros ($2.3 million) in child support ordered by an Italian court.

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Koons, a one-time Wall Street commodities broker who holds the record as the highest-paid living artist, has paid just under 200,000 euros ($310,600) in child support since 1998, according to the lawsuit filed in New York State Court.

A representative for Manhattan-based Koons was not immediately available for comment.

The couple divorced in 1994, and Staller took their son to Italy. Four years later, their divorce was confirmed by an Italian court.

“I always felt my government would do the right thing and get my child back,” Koons told the New York Newsday newspaper in 2003. “Now I realize that I might not be able to see and live with my child again.”

Koons was originally awarded custody of the couple’s son, who was born in 1992. But custody was later given to Staller, and Koons was ordered to pay 1,500 Euros ($2,330) per month in child support.

“At no time during the Italian proceedings did Koons challenge the subject-matter or personal jurisdiction of the Italian courts,” the lawsuit said.

Koons and Staller married in Budapest in 1991. That year, Koons unveiled “Made in Heaven,” a series of paintings and sculptures that showed the couple in sexual acts.

The 52-year-old Koons burst on the art scene in the 1980s aided by an image consultant, and his contentious split from Staller, who has been active in Italian politics since the late 1970s, added to his fame.

Last November, Koons 3,500-pound (1,600-kg) sculpture, “Hanging Heart (Magenta/Gold),” sold at Sotheby’s for $23,561,000, eclipsing its high pre-sale estimate of $20 million and establishing a record for any living artist’s work at auction.

Ugh! This man makes me sick, not paying child support. No what his wifes a porn star. Never mind.

I has a Bucket

I has a bucket. Do you?

Flakey sale nets Virginia sisters $1,350

We all find werid shapes of cereal  when we are eating. But when these girls found one, shaped like Illinois they sold it on ebay and got $1,350 for it:

CHICAGO – Two sisters from Virginia sold their Illinois-shaped corn flake on eBay Friday night for $1,350.

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“We were biting our nails all the way up to the finish, seeing what would happen,” said Melissa McIntire, 23. “There’s a lot of relief involved.”

The winner of the auction, which lasted more than a week, is the owner of a trivia Web site who wants to add the corn flake to a traveling museum.

“We’re starting a collection of pop culture and Americana items,” said Monty Kerr of Austin, Texas. “We thought this was a fantastic one.”

Kerr owns TriviaMania.com and said he will likely send someone to Virginia to pick up the flake by hand, so it won’t be damaged. This isn’t the first corn flake that Kerr has tried to buy. He said he purchased a flake billed as the world’s largest, but that by the time it was delivered it had crumbled into three pieces.

McIntire and her sister Emily, 15, listed the corn flake on eBay last week, but eBay canceled the auction saying it violated the Web site’s food policy.

The sisters restarted their Ebay auction, advertising a coupon redeemable for their corn flake, instead of the cereal itself.

The McIntires said they’ll likely use the money for a family vacation.

Copycat items have popped up on eBay, including corn flakes shaped like Hawaii and Virginia. There’s also been a potato chip shaped like Florida, and Illinois corn flake paraphernalia, including T-shirts and buttons.

 

Next time I find a random shaped corn flake in my cereal I’m selling it on Ebay.